prompt: The University of Colorado Boulder's Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching, research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We strive to foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in opportunities for academic excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in which we live. Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community and what are your hopes for your college experience?
I wake up at noon like clockwork. These last lazy days of summer are winding down yet the college admission process is winding up but I feel as though this process might not be too hectic for me. I can easily say that The University of Colorado Boulder is where I can see myself living and learning for the next four years. Through both being an asset to the population and fulfilling my goals I feel as though I would be more than just a number.
When people hear the word diversity, their first thought is usually race or ethnic background. I've been filling in the African American bubble on tests for years, so to some people my race spells diverse. Yet I pride myself on the underground indie bands that mainstream kids haven't heard of and my sterling silver nose ring that makes a statement on its own. I feel as though I have more to offer than just the color of my skin, my experiences and future plans will contribute to the CU community.
I grew up in a military household which meant that the new kid at school and every neighbor that moved in down the street had been uprooted from a far away state or country. My childhood best friend was German American and never hesitated to teach me her native tongue, while another wide eyed youngster shared Filipino pudding with me. These were interesting and sometimes mindboggling events but no matter our differences we all had one thing in common: MTV. It's a television network known for its groundbreaking shows, especially the now cancelled TRL. This show combined the two greatest things, music and launching celebrity careers. No one can deny the vibrant artists that graced the TV screen, but that wasn't what kept me hooked. The behind the scenes footage of the hundreds of people making the show come alive was fascinating to me. I have always loved working with a team whether on the track field or on a project for a science class, but combining this with the exciting field of entertainment is what I strive for. For this reason I plan to major in Media Studies.
I can't think of a better place to pursue a major in Media Studies than CU. Not only do the courses and internship possibilities sound exciting, but being able to return to Colorado and experiencing a real winter and the possibility to snowboard for the first time is amazing, not to mention so many things Boulder has to offer. I also plan to stay active through the community and have every intention of going greek and joining Theta Nu Xi. From the beautiful rocky mountain back drop to the undeniable sense of pride that's shared by the student body and faculty it would be an honor to attend this fall. I would be honored to call myself a true CU buff for life.
my thoughts are a little jumbled on this one. when i read to myself it sounds really choppy
Hi Bria, is your username a weird transformers reference? hahah...
I wake up at noon like clockwork. --- so far, I have read only this sentence, but I think it is likely that I will recommend against saying this at the start. There are students who get up early, driven by their passion for a particular field of study or set of goals.
As I read the first para, I see that this method of introducing the essay is unhelpful. There is no need to tell the reader you sleep til noon.
You are telling a bunch of random things here. Military household, nose ring, culture... but what is the overarching theme for it all?
For this reason I plan to major in Media Studies.--- here is where it gets meaningful. The reader wants to know about your plan for the future.
...experiencing a real winter and the possibility to snowboard ...here, it starts to digress again.
Use this as a brainstorming exercise; read it again and ask yourself what message you want the reader to remember. Look again at the prompt and use some of the words they use: a diverse, inclusive community, academic excellence, leadership...
Use some of those words as you expound your single, important message. :-)
As an admissions counselor, one of my primary roles when I am on the road during the fall is attending college fairs, high school visits and other events throughout the year to meet with prospective students and families and answer their questions about CU. You can imagine all the of the questions I get asked, everything from “What is the average GPA and test score?” to “How good is the campus food?” and everything in between. One of the most common questions I answer though is “Do you REALLY read the essays? And do they ACTUALLY make a difference in the admissions process?” My answer every time is, “Yes!”
“What makes an essay stand out?” “What are we REALLY looking for in those essays?” “Where do I get started when writing my essay?” These are just a few of the questions many students have about the college application process, and questions I hope to help answer! I have broken down the college essay writing process into 5 easy steps to help you tackle the Common Application essay questions, as well as CU Boulder’s supplemental essay prompt.
- Brainstorm: This is the very first step to any writing assignment you may encounter. Don’t you dare put that pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) without brainstorming first! Many of the essay prompts on the Common Application, the CU Boulder supplement and other college applications ask you about yourself. The whole point of the essays is for us to get to know you personally. Start by brainstorming events that have shaped your life, traits you see in yourself or that accurately describe you, your strengths and weaknesses and anything that makes you, well YOU.
- Write: Just put pen to paper. No matter how you work best, if that is in an outline format, writing full paragraphs, thought bubbles or mapping out your thoughts, get it down on paper! This will help you start to see any themes and recurring traits, events and people that may be important to you and your life. Consider this step your first draft, let your ideas flow and don’t edit anything during this part of the creative process.
- Be Honest: Remember when I said earlier that reading students’ essays is both the best and worst part of my job? What makes it the worst is when students are clearly just writing what they think their admission counselor wants to hear. It is very obvious when you write about an event that didn’t actually happen to you, an experience that wasn’t yours, or just writing about an activity/event that you think we are interested in hearing about. Sometimes the best essays aren’t about profound, life-changing events, they are reflections on a personal experience no matter how big or small. Take the time to reflect in your brainstorming session to focus on what really matters to you, what you want to convey to the admissions committee and how you want us to feel after we read your essay.
- Get Feedback: Have an actual human (or a few) – a parent, counselor, teacher, friend, brother, sister, coach, SOMEONE read your essay. I know it can be tough to allow other people to proofread (and criticize) your work, but no one’s first draft is the best version of their work. The more people you have read your essay, give constructive criticism and provide you with helpful feedback the better your essay is going to read. Plain and simple. Also included in this step; make sure you are actually answering the essay prompt. It seems obvious, but many students get so caught up in if their essay reads well, that they forget to answer the question in the first place.
- Submit: YAY! The last step. You may have stressed out over this essay for days, weeks or even months, but now you are in the final stretch! Make any last minute changes (check for spelling mistakes, obvious grammar errors, etc.) and save the final draft just in case, then you are ready to submit your college essay.
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